The first time I picked up an Advance Directive form it hit me. “How can I possibly foresee all the possible situations that may occur to me?” I asked myself.

At what point would I decide life was no longer worth living?

If I can’t make these decisions for myself without situational context, how can I expect or trust anyone else to make those life choices on my behalf?

How or will my values influence any medical decision I may have to make?

What are the impacts of various treatments on my long-term prospects for returning to a fulfilling life?

The good news is regardless of the situation those decisions are not made in a vacuum. If you have completed even the most basic of Advance Directives, medical staff, family and friends, probably have your back.

Of course, the first order is to name a medical proxy—the person who will make medical decisions on your behalf when you are not capable. (This may be the most daunting question to answer for some, admittedly. It assumes you have had the “Death Talk,” the crucial conversation about your end-of-life wishes.)

The California State Advance Directive form reduces the questions of life-sustaining treatment to two basic questions (seen below).

END-OF-LIFE DECISIONS: I direct that my health care providers and others involved in my care provide, withhold, or withdraw treatment in accordance with the choice I have marked below: (Initial only one box)

[ ] (a) Choice NOT To Prolong Life

I do not want my life to be prolonged if (1) I have an incurable and irreversible condition that will result in my death within a relatively short time, (2) I become unconscious and, to a reasonable degree of medical certainty, I will not regain consciousness, or (3) the likely risks and burdens of treatment would outweigh the expected benefits,

OR

[ ] (b) Choice To Prolong Life

I want my life to be prolonged as long as possible within the limits of generally accepted health care standards.

(8)RELIEF FROM PAIN: Except as I state in the following space, I direct that treatment for alleviation of pain or discomfort should be provided at all times even if it hastens my death…

When I saw the way these questions were formulated, I immediately relaxed. I don’t have to foresee every possible circumstance. The contingencies are pretty straight-forward.

The issue can be reduced to trust. Whom do you trust to make decisions for you? You have control to name that person.

The alternatives are particularly unsatisfactory. No decision is a decision to have the most aggressive and expensive medical life-sustaining treatment possible regardless of your prognosis for survival.

If your desire is to die as comfortably as possible, to die at home, to be among family and friends, then checking the box (a) Choice NOT to Prolong Life is your choice. The good news is neither the response, itself, is black and white, and you may modify your response as you find necessary.

So, relax. Talk it out with those you love and trust. So everyone is on the same page.