What Makes Your Life
Worth Living?
Values Drive Decisions
When a medical crisis hits, decisions happen fast. If your family and your doctors already know what you value most, they can make choices that honor your life — not just extend it.
Clarity Prevents Conflict
Families torn apart by end-of-life disagreements almost always share one thing in common: no one knew what the person actually wanted. Your reflections here prevent that grief.
What does a good day look like for you?
Think about a recent day that felt satisfying or meaningful. What happened? Who were you with? What were you able to do? What made it good?
What abilities matter most to you?
Consider the activities and capacities you rely on for a sense of independence and identity. Walking? Cooking? Reading? Driving? Holding a conversation? Which ones feel essential?
What relationships sustain you?
Who are the people whose presence makes your life richer? Whose voice would you want to hear? Whose hand would you want to hold? What role do these relationships play in how you define a life worth living?
What are you afraid of?
Be honest. Is it pain? Losing your memory? Being a burden on your family? Being alone? Losing control of your body? Naming your fears is not weakness — it is the beginning of planning for them.
When would treatment feel like too much?
Is there a point at which medical intervention would no longer serve you? What would that look like? If you could no longer recognize your family, would you still want life-sustaining treatment? What about if you were in constant pain?
What brings you comfort?
Music? Silence? A particular place? The outdoors? A prayer or reading? Knowing what soothes you will help those caring for you create the kind of environment you would choose for yourself.
Inform Your Advance Directive
The values you identify here will shape the specific instructions you write into your directive — what treatments to pursue, what to refuse, and under what conditions.
Guide Your Healthcare Proxy
The person you choose to speak for you needs to understand not just your medical preferences, but your values. Share these reflections with them directly.
Anchor Difficult Conversations
When it comes time to talk with family about end-of-life wishes, your quality of life reflections give the conversation a starting point that is personal, not clinical.
Evolve Over Time
Your answers will change. What matters at fifty may be different at seventy or eighty-five. Revisit these reflections periodically — especially after major health events or life transitions.
Why This Matters
The medical system is designed to keep you alive. That is what it does well. But it is not designed to ask you whether the life it is preserving is one you would recognize as your own.
Without clarity about what makes your life meaningful, you risk receiving care that extends your existence without honoring your identity. Machines can keep a body going for weeks, months, sometimes years. But only you can say whether that body is still living the life you intended.
The reflections on this page are the most personal work in this entire guide. They are also the most important. Everything that follows — your directives, your proxy, your family conversations — flows from what you decide here about what makes your life worth living.
Next Step: Choosing Your Healthcare Proxy
Now that you have reflected on what matters most to you, the next step is to choose the person who will speak for you if you cannot speak for yourself — your healthcare proxy. This is one of the most consequential decisions in the entire planning process.
Continue to Step 3 →